Thursday, February 3, 2011
Good to know if there are worms under your rock.
1. I train hard.
2. I was born to enjoy these certain kinds of things.
And the only way to figure that out is to run 100 miles all-out without the training to support you. [P.S. Sponsors, don’t worry because I’ll never do this again. I promise.]
Somehow I PRed. But I felt like I was going to DIE. In terms of cardio-endurance, it felt awesome, but the pounding on my legs was jarring. After I finished, I waddled inside the giant lounge-cabin to hang out with the DNFers and injured/resting runners. I stretched out by the fire, telling jokes to the people around me because I had thought-up some good ones while running. Annette Bednosky was there, and I was so thrilled to catch up, I jumped up to see her! And I promptly blacked out. (Because you don’t jump up after lying down after running 100 miles…You live, and you learn...)
The medic launched himself toward me and took my BP and told me it was pretty low, and I assured him it was always like that. “No worries. I control my blood pressure with my mind.” And then he asked me if my side ponytail throws me out of chiropractic alignment. I had never thought of that, but I answered, “Sir, I believe it is worth the risk.” Because it’s important to look like the decade you were born in.
Umstead was a great day, and it felt so FREE! No expectations. It was an adventure that I’ll remember forever…and more so now that I am in the practice of reflecting upon these things. Did I run in the past? Probably, but I don’t remember the specifics. My mileage log says I did—A LOT…like up to 180 miles per week in college. But I had no real plan and didn't dwell on it. While running, I never thought about running because sometimes the last thing running is about...is running.
Running is the freest aspect of my life. It’s just there, and somehow everyday I wake up and train without pause. I never used to think about it, and that’s why I liked it so much. It was pressure-free. So I was initially hesitant to start a running blog because I didn’t want to turn my lens in on itself. When you bring your life under scrutiny, one of two things can happen:
1. You become disillusioned and feel pressured by your own normativity.
2. You perfect your skill. You become more aware of different things holding you back, and you can really start to succeed.
I was afraid of both. Because sometimes you flip over a beautiful rock and find a pile of worms. And because once you’re aware of something, you’re sort of obligated to care. And I don’t know how to half-way care. About anything. If I were more relaxed, I would not be a Philosophy student at Yale. I’d pursue my secondary passion: street rapping about thug lives in the ‘hood. Or I would have settled for Princeton. [Ohhhhh Princeton burn! Go Bulldogs.]
Anyway, I’m trotting around right now, enjoying my first New England winter (NOT!). I have made final adjustments to my racing schedule [see on right side of screen). I’m really happy with it and think it’s sustainable. You guys, life is good. I hope you have a week full of joy and adventures. Homegirl out.