Monday, December 20, 2010

De-Amish-ing our Dog


Sometimes I walk into the health food store looking like a female gladiator—like Hercules, with my muscles flexing in the breeze. This is totally real life. And I walk in there and want vitamins, and the ladies working there tell me not to get the soy-based kind but rather the smushed up vegetable variety. I concede with an affirmative head nod, not because I want to be trim and toned to the degree of excellence they’re modeling (because—for real, most people working at McDonald’s look healthier. This is a brand of poetic irony I have only grown to appreciate more in my advanced age. I guess it’s the whole "those who can’t do, teach" thing...[analogous to how I always tell people with great conviction to floss 3 times each day and myself do it...like every other day.] I like to imagine them at home with pork rinds dipped in butter.) But I never say that. I just nod because introversion is a gift in these cases. There is no expectation to talk but just to nod and agree as they tell me about how milk is like cigarettes because we don’t have as many stomachs as cows. Furthermore, I agree with the soy thing anyway. Mostly because I read in a science journal that it is actually TOXIC in giant quantities, and I like to eat like a cave woman.

True confessions: In high school, I was greedy. One morning, I saw that there was only one banana left, and I wanted it for after track practice. So I labeled it with a permanent marker “SABRINA’S BANANA. NOBODY EAT.” And I felt so awful. At school, we were reading Scarlet Letter, the story about Hester Prynne, whose Puritan neighbors condemn her for committing adultery. She has to wear a giant A. That day, I attached a gigantic G to my sweater, for greed, because of the banana.

Training is going well, though I’m not as jacked as I previously indicated, so I’m starting to lift weights again. Winter is the most unmotivating season because it’s cold, and that’s the worst feeling in the world. It’s worse than rejection. Taylor Swift has so many songs about rejection. Finals just ended. I learned a lot this semester, mostly that Moses was a lot like Henry Clay. He lived a long time and was involved in all of the important things.

Also, my family adopted a dog named Cay (short for Cayuga, a state park in the Finger Lakes area of NY). She looks like an Ewok, with maybe…Tina Turner's hair. We adopted her from the Amish, so it’s been really neat to acquaint her with modern technology. Today, we introduced her to the complete works of Michael BublĂ© and showed her the toaster, DVD player, and processed margarine, among other things she has heretofore never encountered.

(childhood ornaments, bonding on the tree)

Merry Christmas, blog. I’ll be back soon because I always go Christmas Eve carol-running, sometimes with my barefoot friends. BRB, as the kids say these days. And I am racing a 50K imminently (!!!) against my brother. Look at how intense he is…

Can’t even handle that. Can't even replicate that face.

1 comment:

  1. You make me so HAPPY!!!! oh... and I totally remember that story about the banana and the picture at camp:) Love you! I'm really glad we are friends!

    ReplyDelete